Forgiveness – The Only True Relational Freedom

Until we ‘get’ forgiveness, we will not truly get life.

For, when we get forgiveness – when we understand how and why we do it, by God’s grace – God puts life in proper perspective. Nothing is important enough to be resentful for – not in truth; not with the backdrop of eternity in mind.

There may not be a more important message for us regarding the relational life.

None of us can escape this life, where we must interact with others and risk being hurt, as well as being the source of hurt. If we would escape, living as hermits, we would hardly be living life, and we may find ourselves disposed to other problems because of our isolation. We were made to connect with people.

Contentment within life, so far as relationships are concerned, is not only achievable, but it’s what we need to strive for – as we surrender to God our allegiances to resentment. And we all experience that climbing strain of the angry, though fearful, emotion.


As soon as we understand that fear within relationships is incompatible with relational goals we can begin to believe that all our relationships can exist without such fear. Even for those people who may torment us there is the possibility of forgiveness, such that we might experience relational freedom; to not be bound in fear.

Entering relational freedom is really entering a place devoid of fear.

There is one thing we must do to enter this place. We must surrender our resentment; our ‘control’ over the situation (because we have little control anyway); and our desire for recognition, respect, or reward. The moment we can give these things up in order to advance the relationship in any way is the moment we can experience grace enough to forgive.

Entering relational freedom is the life God has always sought to give us, freely.

This life, the abundant life, is about living in harmony with all people, recognising that each person has their restraints of personality to deal with; each person struggles as we do, albeit in different ways.

More important than our individual and collective struggles, however, is the common need. We all need to be loved and accepted. To be hated and rejected is fuel for resentment. It never does us any good; or the other person.

But as we rise up above this fear-enshrouded resentment, we earn ourselves a reprieve from resentment, and forgiveness is augmented. We understand that we win when everybody else wins; and that’s our objective. The true life is lived by that objective. Then we know a reality where fear melts away, because it’s unimportant. Then we know true blessing.


There is no sense to life without forgiveness. To forgive is to love with happy abandon. When we act with the golden intent of love, the keys to forgiveness are ours.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

23 Responses to “Forgiveness – The Only True Relational Freedom”

  • Harriet W:

    My spouse explained her new boyfriend is really a blessing from god. I informed her god does not work this way it’s from Satan. She stated god forgives her because she requested forgiveness. But, why can you request for forgiveness if it is a blessing from god? I have never requested forgiveness for any blessing. Is senseless.

  • Gundown64:

    I’ve read a scripture on asking forgiveness however the person not accepting it and can’t appear to locate it. Bascially it states should you request forgiveness also it is not received you have carried out what God known as you to definitely do. Are you able to help? Thanks!

  • veemodz:

    I pray in spirit, to provide forgiveness …

    And often, I request for forgiveness …

    Whether a belief in God, or otherwise … How can you forgive others?

  • mal_functiongeo:

    Forgiveness is really a gift we give, delivering the one who hurt us in the bondage of owing us something which only God can truly give. But we give this gift to ourselves whenever we release the load of holding onto an offense. This is a really heavy burden, particularly when your partner is happening using their existence and could not really know-or care-what you are feeling. Remember, our unforgiveness affects us a lot more than it will other people.

    Joyce Meyer

    I believe Joyce Meyer place it perfectly. What about you?

    No rude or disrespectful solutions.

  • XplicitzZ:

    I’m going to graduate with my degree in special education. The district I’m going to work with qualifies under title one for that Teacher Loan Forgiveness Program. I realize will be able to be eligible for a 17,500 in loan forgiveness after 5 years. I’m wondering how do you set this up? Will I have that money after 5 years or will it are available in portions? Is that this program worthwhile?

  • maskills24:

    Once the child is 3 – many years old, are they going to just get accustomed to avoiding with everything else or are they going to learn forgiveness should you never let them know off?

    I’d think they are too youthful to determine the ethics behind forgiveness and would certainly become naughtier. Ideas / encounters?

  • Mike:

    I have done lots of large mistakes within my existence and feel guilty for doing it mistake. I’ll never wish to repeat them again. Can one request for forgiveness to Allah for anything???

  • Ev dog:

    I’ve All Condition and merely got inside a crash. I have to determine if there something which enables you to with regard to crash forgiveness or whether thats a computerized factor.

    Let’s say it was not my fault?

  • stingerms:

    Louise Hay states in a single of her books, that if you’re stuck in existence, it’s most likely because there’s some forgiveness you must do. There’s a bitterness that is delivering out negative energy and obstructing the great which could come your way.

    Which metaphysical benefits does forgiveness bring?

    Perhaps you have already been through it yourself?

    What went down?

    Appreciate your replies

  • skychi99:

    I have read about how forgiveness has magical power, and how it really helps the manifestation process.

    How does this work?
    When you forgive, what actually happens?
    What do you start attracting?
    What does it clear up in your life?

  • Gundown64:

    For those who have anything about forgiveness or repenting please answer. Any information, hopefully questionable to spark a debate.

  • thinkthought:

    Exactly what does forgiveness mean to some conservative? Will it mean a release from effects? And it is everything relative and also the same? Conservatives, exactly what do you mean whenever you talk about forgiveness?

  • ttocs:

    Even when they do not request for forgiveness. Exactly what does your religion/ideas say relating to this?

  • PillowMan1234:

    I am talking about a priest is just human afteral. What sets a priest above an regular believer.

    What is your opinion may be the advantages of asking God for forgiveness via a priest?

  • Stevalicious:

    I can just learn the atheist version, that involves asking forgiveness in the people you’ve harmed. So when they forgive you, here it is, no gods involved.

    Which steps will vary for that religious people?

    Wait, tiktok, I am confused, just how can something be “really bad” whether it “does not involve anybody”? That does not seem sensible… victimless crimes?

  • heavenly sword:


    I’ve been doing a little shopping around around the word empathy. It appears in my experience to be really carefully associated with forgiveness. Shall we be held the only person who thinks that? Or shall we be held imagining things?

    How could they be related? Is a an element of the other? Witch (for you) is much more vital that you have?

    I discovered a religion that thinks that Empathy and forgiveness are associated….

    Kwan Yin may be the mother of Whim, Empathy and forgiveness…

    Maybe i’m grasping at straws here. However i would love these to be related.

  • Jeracoo L:

    I’m able to comprehend the mental ones, however the metaphysical ones aren’t really described too clearly.

    I’ve read it clears the mind, enables you to reside in the current and so forth, but when you practiced forgiveness regularly,

    What will you be bringing in to your existence?

    What will you be creating?

    What can start happening inside your existence?

    Wouldn’t it allow methods to manifest?

    Appreciate your solutions.

  • krow147:

    …Attempting to be recognized or popular.



    The American dream

    Father and boy relationship type of song.

    Thanks i understand its a little much.

  • vanvark83:

    I understand Jesus came for the sins, but will it require us to understand or failing with sorrow for true forgiveness?

    Then you will find individuals ppl who had horrible unexpected things happen for them & they forgive their aggressors, however their aggressors don’t request for forgiveness & be proud of their wring doings. It this true forgiveness?

  • Cole:

    Exactly how should we receive forgiveness unless of course we’ve pardoned ourselves? We have to thankfully for forgiveness and receive it therefore we can alter. Thank you for discussing.

  • Daniel:

    To have an assignment in class I have been requested how how theme or forgiveness/(in)Justice is described w/ evidence. Any help?

  • Xedo:

    And is not that what bible shows to request God for forgiveness through Jesus and never priests?

  • Jason M:

    I know they believe Ibrahim was asked to sacrifice Ismael. And I know that on certain holidays they sacrifice animals. Is animal sacrifice necessary for forgiveness, or is it just done to show respect?
    Do they believe in atonement for sin, or do they simply apologize and that’s that?
    I didn’t mean anything rude by referring to Muslims as “them”. It’s just that, nine times out of ten, when I ask a question about Islam, I don’t get any Muslims who answer. Thanks for answering me.

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